$Cryptoe
Cryptoecurrency is a joke.
We took the joke, put it on a blockchain, and gave it a foot.
“sir this is a foot”
buttons clicked: 0 · coins received: 0
Why $Cryptoe?
We asked four venture capitalists. Three left. The fourth is now our Head of Toe.
Toe-Ken Verified
Every single coin is personally sniffed and approved by the big toe. That’s more due diligence than most L2s get.
Number Go Sideways
Other coins pump and dump. We innovated: ours just sits there. Perfectly still. Like a foot in a shoe.
Backed By Real Assets
Specifically: one foot. It’s in a shoe. The shoe is in a house. The house does not belong to us.
Aggressively Useless
No roadmap, no devs, no product, no plan, no shame. We deleted the whitepaper by accident and just kept going.
How to ape in
Four easy steps to financial confusion.
Get a wallet
Write the seed phrase on a napkin. Blow your nose with the napkin. Congrats, you’re a veteran.
Fund it
Send money you were going to spend on rent. Rent is temporary, toe is forever.
Swap for $Cryptoe
Accept the 41% price impact. Then accept it again. Then cry a little. Normal.
Cope
Refresh the chart every 9 seconds until the heat death of the universe. That is the product.
Toekenomics
These numbers were generated by dropping a phone down the stairs.
- Total Supply1,000,000,000,000,000
- Circulating Toes1
- Dev WalletForgot password
- Team Allocation0% (we can't log in)
- Burn MechanismA lighter
- AuditMy cousin said 'lol'
Current price (all time high, also all time low)
chart provided by a flat line with dreams
Roadmap
Written in 40 seconds. Two phases are already impossible.
Exist (huge)
Make a website (you are here, hi)
Post the foot. Get ratio’d. Post it again.
Buy a second toe
Remember the seed phrase
Global toe standard. Central banks. Nobel prize.
Frequently Ignored Questions
Is this a scam?
No. A scam implies we had a plan.
Who is the team?
One foot and whoever is holding the phone.
What’s the utility?
You get to say the word ‘Cryptoe’ out loud. That’s it. That’s the utility.
Why a toe?
Because ‘Cryptoe’ was funny and we refuse to elaborate further, ever.
Should I put my savings in?
Absolutely not. Please. We are begging. Put in like $4.
When moon?
The moon has no feet. Think about that.
Ready to lose money to a foot?
Don’t actually. Statistically you will. But the group chat is very funny.
Not financial advice. Not legal advice. Not even foot advice.